Obama blamed for 4-series problems

"SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman" (dasborgen)
10/14/2013 at 17:52 • Filed to: bmw, F32

Conservative car blog !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! has published an editorial suggesting that the new 4-series coupe’s disappointing performance was prompted by instructions to the company from the Obama Administration.

In an editorial titled “ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! “, editor Phil Uvschidt wrote, “How could a car like the BMW coupe could go from being so good to so bad, so quickly? Liberals will say it’s because corporations are inherently lazy, evil and complacent… But to a sane Conservative, the idea that BMW could suddenly forget how to make a good car is beyond belief. BMW is a for-profit company with obligations to its stockholders, not a government-run bureaucracy with its handouts and its taxes. No, the answer is clear: Obama (or more likely one of his bagmen) put in a call to BMW.”

Autoblopnik asked Uvschidt if he had documentation or other proof that the Obama administration contacted BMW with instructions to alter the 4-series.

“No, but it’s bad, so of course Obama did it,” Uvschidt replied. “Do you know he refused to hand over his tax returns? What kind of lying sack of shit does that? I’ll tell you: A lying sack of shit that’s lying. Oh, wait, that wasn’t him… well, it doesn’t matter. Obama still sucks and he’s a Muslim that wasn’t born here and wants to take money from rich people and uses it to burn down nuns and buy stem cells from the Chinese.”

The White House did not return Autoblopnik ‘s request for comment, but Mr. Uvschidt was only too pleased to add more of his own.

“Of course the liberals will say I’m crazy,” he said, “but you mark my words: In three years, when Baracula Obammunist is out of office, there will be a facelifted 4-Series that will be even better. Then we’ll know.”

source

DISCUSSION (13)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2013 at 17:54

Kinja'd!!!

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2013 at 17:55

So..
obama works for BMW now?

And how bad the 4 series really is?
Is it always shutdown himself occasionally?

Chairman Kaga > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2013 at 17:56

Kinja'd!!!

For Sweden > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2013 at 17:56

If messing with BMW distracts Obama from bombing civilians with manned or unmanned aircraft, I'm all for it.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW.
10/14/2013 at 17:59

I'm not sure I understand. Please get back to me when you can properly form sentences.

sliding-sideways > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2013 at 18:22

I was wondering whether or not this could be true... until Autoblopnik . Great job whoever wrote this.

Kinja'd!!!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
10/14/2013 at 18:25

Direct results of the new CAFE regs:

Electric steering

Greater dependence on turbo engines

Many-geared automatics for an extra 1-2 mpg

Auto start/stop function

BMW in the past was best known for their great, communicative steering and creamy inline sixes... The things that made the company unique and a stand-out to enthusiasts for many years seem to be going away. How much of this is directly related to the new CAFE rules? Not sure.

Thanks, Obama? Maybe.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/14/2013 at 18:27

Here's someone smarter than me writing about it:

http://www.technologyreview.com/view/429041/st…